Wednesday, December 29, 2010

സമയമില്ലാത്ത കാലം

തിരക്കോട് തിരക്ക് .....ഒന്നിനും സമയമില്ല....ഓട്ടം തന്നെ ഓട്ടം....രാഷ്ട്ര തലവന്മാര്‍ മുതല്‍ ഭിക്ഷക്കാര്‍ക്ക്  വരെ......തിരക്കാ.. ജനിച്ചു വീഴുന്ന കുഞ്ഞിനു മുതല്‍ പോകാന്‍ നില്‍ക്കുന്ന വയോവൃദ്ധര്‍ക്കു വരെ...തിരക്കാ......ആണിനും പെണ്ണിനും ഒക്കെ തിരക്കാ......

ഒടുവില്‍ മരിച്ചു കിടന്നാലും തിരക്കാ ........

എനിക്കും നിങ്ങള്‍ക്കും തിരക്ക്.........എന്തിനാണ് ഈ തിരക്ക്...?...... അറിയില്ല

ആര്‍ക്കും സമയമില്ല .....എവിടെ പോയി ഈ സമയമെല്ലാം....?

തിരക്ക് കൂടിയിട്ടു നാം എന്ത് നേടി...?

ഒന്നും കാണാനും .....കേള്‍ക്കാനും...തൊടാനും....മണക്കാനും.....രുചിക്കാനും ഒന്നിനും....കഴിയുന്നില്ല .....ഒന്നിനും സമയമില്ല......

കാണാന്‍  അല്പ്പവ്സ്ത്ര ധാരികള്‍...ഊരി വീഴാരായ പാന്റുകള്‍....... കേള്‍ക്കാന്‍..... ....മൊബൈല്‍ ഫോണുകളുടെ അസഹ്യമായ റിംഗ് ടോണുകള്‍...തൊടാന്‍ .മൊബൈല്‍ ബട്ടണുകള്‍.....മണക്കാന്‍ വാഹനഗളുടെ പുക..... ഒന്ന് രുചിക്കാനായി ബീവരെജസ്സിനും..സിവില്‍ സപ്പ്ലി സ്റ്റോര്‍ കളുടെ മുന്‍പിലെ നീണ്ട നിര....
  
ബന്ധങ്ങള്‍....ആരോഗ്യം....ജീവിതത്തിന്റെ അസ്വാധ്യത........എല്ലാം നഷ്ട്ടമായി...പലര്‍ക്കും ജീവിതം തന്നെ നഷ്ട്ടമായി.....
എന്തെങ്ങിലും നേടാനായോ...?  ആര്‍ക്കറിയാം ....?

Monday, December 27, 2010

ഒരിക്കലും ജയിക്കാതെ......

ജീവിതത്തില്‍ ഒരിക്കലെങ്ങിലും തോല്ക്കാത്തവര്‍ കാണുമോ..? ഇല്ല ....അത് തീര്‍ച്ച .. എന്നാല്‍ ഒരിക്കലെങ്ങിലും ജയിക്കാത്തവര്‍ ഉണ്ടാകുമോ...? അറിയില്ല ..... ഒരിക്കലും ജയിക്കാതെ..... പരാജയങ്ങള്‍ മാത്രം ഏറ്റുവാങ്ങാന്‍ വിധിക്കപെട്ടവര്‍...കാണും

 ആദ്യമൊക്കെ തോല്‍ക്കുന്നത് ഒരു തരം നൊമ്പരം ഉണ്ടാക്കിയിരുന്നു....പിന്നെ അത് മാറി ഒരു മരവിപ്പായി.....പിന്നെ ഭയമായി....വെറുപ്പായി ....എല്ലാരോടും .....എല്ലാത്തിനോടും.....എന്നോടുതന്നെയും...
.
ഒരു നിമിഷം ...... സത്യത്തില്‍ ആരെങ്ങിലും ഇവിടെ വിജയിക്കുന്നുണ്ടോ....? അല്ല എന്താണ് വിജയം...? ധാരാളം പണം നേടുന്നതോ...? ഉയര്‍ന്ന ജോലി കിട്ടുന്നതോ...? സമൂഹത്തില്‍ മാന്യത നേടുന്നതോ...? അധികാരം നേടുന്നതോ..? ഇവരില്‍ ആരെങ്ങിലും ജയിക്കുന്നുണ്ടോ...? അല്ലെങ്ങില്‍ ജയിച്ചതായി അവര്‍ക്ക് തോന്നിയിട്ടുണ്ടോ ..?? ആര്‍ക്കറിയാം ...? 

വിജയം ഒരു പടവാണ് എന്ന് ആരോ പറഞ്ഞു പോല്‍ ...!!!!!!!

കയറിയ പടവുകളുടെ പിന്നാംബുരങ്ങളില്‍ എവിടെയോ തേങ്ങലുകള്‍......നമുക്ക് കയറാന്‍ വഴി  മാറി തന്ന പരാജിതരുടെ അടക്കിയ നൊമ്പരങ്ങളുടെ മുന്‍പില്‍ ഒരു നിമിഷം പരാജയപെടുന്നുവോ....?   

ഈ പടവെല്ലാം കയറി അങ്ങ് മുകളില്‍ എത്തുമ്പോള്‍.................... ദാ....നില്‍ക്കുന്നു കയറുമായി.....പോത്തിന്‍റെ മുകളില്‍....വാ സമയമായി......... അടുത്ത തോല്‍വിക്ക്....

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Lamp Light

I took my old lamp
Many of its parts are rusted
Not used regularly and not dusted
Not have enough oil

I lighted it and kept on an old table
It could kill the darkness nearby
Often my lamp seems to loose the battle
Darkness, along with a gentle breeze attacked it..

Alas... I thought the lamp died
My hut's wall cannot keep its light inside
Darkness attacked it from all four corners
Now they got dew drops as their friend..

I liked Breeze, dew, cool weather,
often I thought they are a relief
But they don't like
My old lamp and its fading light..


Saturday, December 25, 2010

Our Christmas

We had only very few memories of happiness and joy during our childhood.... Christmas was such an occasion...... Amidst all sorrows and disappointments.....we used to celebrate Christmas...

Both me and my brother have to wait till our Xmas Exams to get over... In between the exams also, we secretly organised the materials for Christmas without our mum's knowledge.....or we thought so...may be she was knowing it and acting as if she don't ....

We loved dark colours and glitters..... but was never able to get....it was far beyond the reach of our lean purse....true...we don't even had a purse.... Our Christmas always had the shade of sorrows and scarcity and faded colours....

Both of us don't have many friends...in our world, only we were there...of course... one more was there....one of our neighbors...he is a priest now.... With great difficulty... we used to collect small colour papers(always faded)..... Balloons.... small stars....(most of the time damaged ones)...some times we tried to make things ...but never had the expected perfection.....With great enthusiasm we cut the branches....decorated with the colour papers and Xmas cards...tried with all possible things to make it beautiful....But never we were satisfied...for it never had the beauty of the Xmas trees which we have seen in the Christmas cards......

December evenings, the sounds of Drums in the nearby church heralds the arrival of Christmas for us... They are practicing carol songs....Boys of our age used to go for practice....we never had the permission for that.... we thought those boys were the luckiest in this world.....

Crackers.....Our Mum, in spite of her financial difficulty, used to give little money....we were happy with that..... We had many dreams....but boys nearby also had only very limited funds.....we used to call them to see and involve..... Though it will last only for some minutes... we shared it........

Today... we have the best of every thing......Wonderful Christmas Tree, better than the ones which are there in Cards.........all bright colours.....glitters.... have the best music system and instruments which can produce wonderful sounds of Christmas.....Fat purse...which we can buy any amount of crackers......

But......... our faded Xmas tree is still colourful in our mind.....The sounds of that old rusted drums from the nearby church... is still the sound of Christmas for us.......that small pack of crakers(only a handful) made us happier than the huge cartons......

The saddest of all.......we couldn't even remember any of our recent Christmas.....

I am Insulted

One Friday evening.... I was driving down from my place of work to my home. (In between... let me tell you ....I love long drives....my place of work is approximately 150 kms away from my home town...so I used to come home only once in a week....) A guy with a smaller car was trying desperately to over take me.... I was driving at an average speed of 70 Kms/hr, which is really fast or over speeding, considering the size and state of the road.

Still he wants to over take me.... After some time, I gave him side and he over took.....while overtaking he gave me a look which declared that "I have defeated you" (or I felt so)......I smiled to myself.......but suddenly so many thoughts flashed into my mind....Why he wants to over take me....? Why he wants to defeat me...? Why should I fail to him with my one of the most powerful vehicle in Indian roads...Blood gushed into m brains to act and prove...

Oh..God.....!!!!!!! My Ego got hurt... I am insulted....

Though it was extremely risky....I pushed down my accelerator....after a terrific battle on the road....finally I over took him....what a huge win...!!!!!. I saw the disappointment on his face through my rear view mirror......Now I am happy...extremely happy...... as I have achieved the greatest car racing prize in this planet..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But my happiness didn't last for a long time.....so many thoughts flashed into my mind... what I have gained from taking such a huge risk...? How easily my behavior got influenced by some one I never knew, have no role in my life, seeing for the fist time and just for a few seconds..? He may be a driver, or an illiterate, or a crazy guy, or drunk..or any one

I understood that....The number of books which I have read....The number of talks which I have listen to...The number courses which I have done......my profession...education .... had no impact or control on my behavior....All gone utter waste......I felt I reduced as a mustard seed ....so small....

By whom I am guided.....? by myself or people around me..? Lost my light..? Can any one change my behavior that easily...??? Why am I like this...? Why are we like this...?

Why do we struggle so hard....... for things which we never use.....????

I don't know.....But one thing I know I got insulted...terribly insulted ....

Friday, December 17, 2010

Leaf


A gentle breeze touched the leaves of that large Oak tree on the hill side... He carried the fragrance of flowers with him..... you know............ that valley was full of flowers.
Breeze........is gentle for the young leaves.....they danced with him....... sang with him .......loved him ....... even secretly kissed him...

But for the older ones.... he sounded as a death bell..... may or may not survive...... death...for ever....

Once she loved him....danced with him..... sang with him.... was waiting for hours..... given him flowers and fragrance..... he enjoyed every thing.......

when weak and old...... he pulled her out of the life...

Rule of the nature..... old ones should give way to new ones..... but why ...? No one knows......no one asked..... no one told...

But at times.....he pulled young ones also.......he laughs......when each leaf falling down...Oak also smiled.....she knows she will get new ones......

We played....we were singing songs.....we were the children of the oak.....we grew up together...we fought....we loved....

but I cried bitterly...I know they will never come back....

For death is lovely dark and deep......

but why ...? No one knows......no one asked..... no one told...



Wednesday, December 15, 2010

LAMPLIT


One foggy morning of a December, I couldn't remember the year, may be three or four years back....I was feeling so lazy to get up and of course.......forcing myself to sleep more. Don't know how much time I lie down....

I have Opened my eyes.....a very thin.... clear ....perfect nice beam of light is falling near on my bed .....I looked at the beam.... an oval was formed at the point where it touched ......that spot is also lighted up.......yes...light can do it....even the thinnest of the beam..... I stretched my hand towards the spot.....just to touch it with my finger.....and I touched......

Amazing......my finger is glowing..... it is spreading to my other fingers also....then ...all over my palm.....hands....all over my body....lightened and lightened

Light..............from where it comes....??? I wondered..... I don't know......